Of Passion and Restraint

Well I’ve finally done it, I’ve published my first book of poetry. The title is the title of this blog and it’s a collection of nearly two hundred poems about love, lust and loss all of which most of us have been intimately aquanted with at one time or another. It’s filled with very personal thoughts on these subjects with a generous sprinkling of nature and spirit. It is available on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PHHC22X?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

And now I will share one of the poems from the book to give you a small glimpse into the book and my deep personal thought therein.


You are a believer

in magic

the kind that winds bring

while waiting hovered

above snow drifts,

You are a lover

of beauty

that quakes above in tethered limbs

hands of the tree gods


your passion,

You are one with

the four legged

relatives of my ancestors

their spirits filling

your human heart

with wisdom,

You are a believer

in my reasons

for being cupped here

in the glow of

your eyes lighting

the fire of my belief.

Johnny Depp and The Bees

Johnny Depp and the Honey Bees

I don’t know him, but I do. Maybe it’s a past life thing, maybe it’s a brown eyed thing (we both have them). Or maybe it’s just a thing but I dreamed of him last night. He told me there was eccentric and then there was me; he said I was just crazy. Then he smiled. I said, ”That’s what everyone says about you, you know.” Then he laughed, said us crazy people have to stick together. We made love then he fixed breakfast while I attempted to fold the sheets. It was fun.

Dreams… Huh. I have my theories but first about the bees.

So I have been waiting for the honey bees to return. I had a couple of hives a few years ago but anyone that keeps up with environmental news knows that it’s getting really hard to keep them alive. So, of course, they died. But I’ve never given up. I have two trap boxes set out for them, one between my garden and a large field and one at the edge of my woods. They have been there for three years and have not seen any activity. In fact, during that time I have not seen any honey bees in my garden. There are plenty of native pollinators but no honey bees.

This morning after that dream I wandered through my garden like I do every morning. I went to check on the progress of my small pumpkin patch and found twenty or more big, bright yellow pumpkin flowers, their faces open like smiles toward the sun. The familiar buzzing of insects surrounded them sounding like a miniature chorus. Closing my eyes I let their symphony soothe my dream addled mind when I realized there was a new yet familiar song being sung around the pumpkin blossoms. My eyes popped open, wide, as I realized there were dozens of honey bees busy gathering nectar and pollen from my humble little pumpkin patch. Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes as the gratitude unleashed its self. I watched in awe as my old friends worked happily in my garden once more, their droning song filling the morning air. It filled me with hope, something that has been sorely lacking in my life of late.

Then I trekked out to check my trap boxes, put in some fresh lure – just in case.

So, what, you might ask, has the dream to do with the bees? It could, of course, be just the typical birds and bees symbolism, a very viable option. Or just a simple escaping the ordinary dream. Another viable option. My dream dictionary says that sex in a dream can be a symbol of two energies joining together and with a stranger can portray joining with one’s own anima or animus. In other words, he could simply be a projection of my inner self attempting to bring me some comfort. Well, all I know is both the dream and the bees made me feel – well – joyful! Both gave me much happiness and hope that life can still be good, fun – exciting, even. Feelings many of us have been thinking of late could be lost forever.

There is also the theory that sometimes when we dream our spirits travel, wandering through this world or others in search of adventure. So I will be forever curious. Did he wake up this morning and wonder, who was that crazy old woman I made love to in my dreams last night? Then maybe he shook the cob webs from his dream addled mind and heard some bees outside his window.

Dreams… Huh. You just never know.




Many people don’t believe in faeries because they say they have never seen any. These are the people that say they need to have scientific proof in order to believe in anything. I love scientific proof, it always makes things seem more real and believable. But if we are truly honest we all have to admit to believing in something that has no science to back it up. Whether it be a deity, love, ghosts, or that feeling you are being watched only to turn around and find that you are, believing in the unexplained and invisible is just part of being human. It is primal and ancient and has given us much to ponder and also has led to many new discoveries that were once considered to be in the realm of the superstitious or ridiculous. And it has given us some fantastic art, music and theater.

The world of Faerie does not exist in the same physical world we inhabit. It is in another dimension that we as humans cannot enter with our physical bodies. But those unseen spirits who dwell within these bodies, the part of us that make us who we truly are, can visit that dimension while still residing in these bodies. This is accomplished through a technique that is well known to many people, especially those who practice any of the arts whether it be music, theater, writing or the visual arts. These people are, while in a state of creating, in contact with a mythically real being commonly known as the Muse. The technique that is used, even if they are not consciously aware of it, is called simply, “Imagination”.

Children actually live in the state of imagination most of the time. Watch and listen to a child playing. What seems to an adult to be pretend is actually a reality to the child. That is why they are firm believers in faeries and stay that way right up to the time in their lives that adults start convincing them otherwise. Many artists and writers don’t actually believe in faeries but will tell you that something happens when they are creating, that it is like being transported to another place. Many think it is a lovely escape and some become so enraptured with this state of being that a kind of withdrawal is experienced when they go too long without creating. I myself have this problem and it has made me think about how it relates to the faerie world since I now create mostly faerie images. I have come to believe that imagination is the vehicle that transports me to this other dimension where the beings there, that I choose to call faeries, inspire the images and other creations that I make in the physical world. I believe these beings are semi-spiritual in nature. I say semi because I and many others have actually been able to see them at times…in the physical. Just as some people have claimed to see ghosts and aliens, those of us who have claimed to see faeries are mostly looked upon as being a bit off in the head. Well maybe we are a bit off in the head, but maybe that is not a bad thing or even an abnormal thing. Maybe we are simply able to use a part of said “off head” that others are not able to use.

Imagination is a very powerful tool that we in the arts have learned to harness. Most of us cannot remember a time when we did not live in the alternate world that gives us our inspiration and all of us never want to lose the ability to go there. When we are “blocked” from entering that place we are in absolute misery and do some pretty wild things to try and find our way back. But when it comes right down to it we know that the best way to find our way back is through mental and spiritual means because even if we are not aware of it that is where imagination resides. It is a place where science cannot go. It is a magical place where anything can happen and the sky, or farther, is the limit. Imagination is the one place anyone can enter by simply allowing it to be there. I believe it is an actual place in another dimension that is just a blink of an eye away and every time I pick up a brush, pen or other creative instrument it sends a signal to my brain which sends a signal to my spirit that it is time to step out and enter that dimension.

The wonderful thing about this place is that it is available to everyone. I think most people lose their ability to go there because they have been convinced by this physical world that it doesn’t exist. They tell themselves that mature adults don’t believe in such things. I am here to invite you to take a walk on the magical side. Do something imaginative. Write a short story or poem, draw a picture, sing a song, “pretend “ with a child, go for a walk and see the trees as living beings. Don’t over think it, just do it and see what your imagination can come up with. Have fun with it and don’t be critical of yourself. This is just between you and the faeries. No one else has to know.